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04/26/2005  08:15PM
 
Wow, check out my mother in law's car after some asshat ran a red light.  She has a broken pelvic ring and some abrasions, but she's doing OK and was discharged from the hospital after just a couple of hours.
 
04/20/2005  10:30AM
 
I usually hate forwarded emails, but lately I have been getting some good ones.  Ladies, here is the newest trend for summer!
 
 
 
 
 
 
Good stuff!  Thanks Robin!
 
02/08/2005 09:15AM
 
Its been about 2 and a half months since I've updated, but a lot of stuff has been going on that keeps me from having the extra time to update. I kinda got a new job that keeps me away from home an extra 1.5 hours of the day, I started playing World of Warcraft which takes up a lot of my free time set aside for entertainment, and best of all, my wife and I whipped up a batch of baby batter and are expecting a little girl at the end of June! Well, here's some funny pics for ya now. I especially like the Jesus brick!.

 

 
 
11/24/2004  08:30PM
 
Wow, 2 updates in one day, will wonders never cease.  I added a paintboard to the site, you can draw anything you want and it will save it for all to see!  Also, if you are having trouble logging into the forums and/or pic hosting, you will probably have to delete your cookie(s) for them.  Easiest way is go to into tools, internet options, delete cookies.  This deletes all your cookies though.  If you need/want to keep your other cookies, go into your cookies folder and delete all cookies that have www.joemonkey in them.  If you don't know where your cookies folder is, go to start, search, all folders and files or whatever it says, and type in "cookie" which should find your cookies folder that you can browse into, or just type in "joemonkey" and delete everything with .txt at the end.
 
 
11/24/2004  03:45PM
 
I moved the site to a new host for the time being, Forscythe (he runs the Shadowspiral site, there is a link to it in the sidebar) has gotten into webhosting reselling and hooked me up with a pretty good deal.  There are some kinks to work out, but most things are working well.  The forums are now located at http://forums.joemonkey.com and the picture hosting is now located at http://pics.joemonkey.com but http://www.joemonkey.com/pics should still work.  Update your bookmarks!!
 
 
10/31/2004  09:15PM

So, in case you haven't heard, The Redskins were defeated by the Packers 28-14 in last home game before the presidential election. Since 1936, this has predicated a loss for the incumbent!  Kinda weird don't you think?  So, if Kerry wins, this tradition will continue on!  Also, the Nickelodeon's Kids Choice election thing they do had Kerry at 57%, and it has been right every time in the 20 years it has been having its election.  Well, sorry for the crappy update, here are some crappy pics to go along with it.

 

08/12/2004  01:00PM

So yep, here's another update, after a month and a half of no updates!  Anyway, did you know in Russia kids play soccer with hand grenades?  And apparently in Miami when you are too fat to get off the couch, you just live on it for 6 years and then die.  And yep, here's some pics.

 

06/29/2004  10:00PM

Well, I've done a bang-up job of updating the site haven't I!  Anyway, here is what our world is coming to:

24yo ice cream truck driver impregnates 9yo girl

23yo female teacher arrested for having sex with 14yo boy

Mother threatens to "whip" 17yo girl in Chuck E Cheese outfit for ignoring her young'un

Mother beats her 8yo son with a knife (???) and an iron (Note:  site requires registration, click here for full story if it doesn't work and you don't want to register)

Mom on trial for facilitating her 11yo daughter's rape (and sequential pregnancy) by her live in boyfriend

no pics today, just giving you some things to read

 

05/14/2004  4:20PM

Here is how I look at things at this very moment.  I'm sitting here, updating my web page, drinking my second beer of the day after working 6am to 3pm, also after spraying some killer dust into carpenter bee holes, thinking about how grand life itself is.  I mean there are now strapless backless bikinis out there!  There's also this experimental cure for AIDS.  This is pretty sweet, as you can actually PASS THE CURE ON TO SEXUAL PARTNERS!  Not to mention the leaps they are making in quantum physics.  Anyway, hope you bitches have a good weekend!

05/10/2004  10:45PM

Just came upon a pretty neat invention, the Tornado In A Can

"Scientists say they doubt that's what’s really happening, but there’s no doubt that whatever you put in the Windhexe — shoes, rocks, sludge, concrete, industrial waste — comes out the bottom as a superfine powder."

So whatcha think about that?  Here's something else to think about... 86% of German men would prefer a weekend with an Enzo to a weekend with Pamela Anderson.  Kinda easy to believe since she has hepatitis C.

And last but not least, looks like the good ol' Kentuckians will still be allowed to leave their junk heaps on the lawn in Whitesburg.  Bring on the blatantly stolen pics!  You can see where I got 'em this time.

WARNING!  FINAL PIC IS KINDA GRAPHIC!

 

 


 

05/07/2004  10:00AM

Today is No Pants Day!!  Also check out this 300C drifting like a madman!

 

05/03/2004  08:45AM

OK so my new favorite site is getoffended.com.  They have the best T-Shirts ever!  They say things such as "Well, it's not going to suck itself..." Plus great other shirts and posters like this one!

 

04/28/2004  11:00PM

I just had to update so you could read about the chick who made tiny pistol shaped thing out of her own skin.

 

04/26/2004  11:00PM

Just some interesting news items tonight, like how Egyptologists found a maze with 50 mummies in it, or how I totally missed out on today being national pretzel day!  I bet being drunk and joyriding on a bulldozer rules.  Gee imagine that, someone says they gave Barry Bonds steroids... who'd a thunk it?  And last but not least, you can no longer go on saying you've not seen the worlds largest ball of paint after clicking on this link!

 

04/26/2004  11:30AM

Well I messed up the pic hosting really bad... all the pics are still there, but you have to re-register and create your albums, then I can batch upload your pics where they belong.  Sorry!

 

04/25/2004  07:15PM

Well I added some more flash to the site. Just two new files for now, one of a chick getting what she deserves, the other is duck hunt!  Don't forget to check out the pic hosting either.  Here are some pics now!

04/22/2004  10:15PM

OK so the page was getting freaking HUGE!!  It was almost a year of updates (not that I updated it that regularly, but I'm hoping to change that now).  Anyway, everything I've ever had go on this page can be found here.  Apparently the japanese have a new art form that revolves around taking a magazine picture and making a real life situation out of it.  It's interesting yet spooky at the same time.  Any one up for some tamales?  Maybe one day I'll be typing on my virtual laser keyboard while updating the site, who knows!  I have a couple pictures for ya stolen from stileproject.  See if you can figure out the theme!

 

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